Kurt Cobain. Many people
don't know who he is--or what he was. The few who do realize he was a legend
of our time--a mysterious, lovable guy who wanted to be a punk/rock star
with out getting all caught up with the media circus. I hope by reading
this you'll understand the frustrations and the emotional stress a twenty-seven
year old singer went through, and how hard it is to be left all alone when
you turn in to an "icon". I picked Kurt Cobain to research on
because I love his music. I also like how open he became with the frustrations
of the world and the people around him. I thought Kurt committed suicide
because of his drug problem--before I started the research. Boy, was I wrong!
Kurt Cobain started his short life in Aberdeen, Washington
on February 20, 1967. Kurt's parents, Wendy and Donald Cobain, got a divorce
when he was just eight years old. He started writing songs about his anguish
and hatred towards his family around that time. Since he didn't get along
with his parents very well he moved in with his relatives. Kurt moved from
one relative to another. Finally finding him self living under a bridge,
at one point in his life (McLaughlin at el. 2). Kurt didn't fit in
very well in his junior and high school years. he was always made fun of
by the bullies in his school. The bullies would call him a "Queer"
and "Homo,"Kurt didn't let that bother him. He pretended to be
a homosexual at the age of fourteen--he had a big reputation for being gay
so he thought; Why not go along with it?
When he was fourteen his uncle kept badgering him to
join some kind of sport, to keep him out of trouble for a while. Kurt finally
said okay and joined the junior highs wrestling team. Towards the end of
the session Kurt had a big match, and Kurt's dad came to watch (Kurt hadn't
seen his dad for about seven months at that time.) Something went wrong,
maybe it was to nervewracking with his dad being there. Kurt got pinned
without even putting up a fight. Kurt's dad got embarrassed because of his
sons playing and walked out of the match.
Kurt met some pretty good friends by hiding his true
sexuality, being "straight." He met some friends who would not
leave him to go off in to the "in" group. Kurt had those same
friends all the way through high school. There was a disadvantage to Kurt's
friends; Many of them died because of A.I.D.S and other sexual diseases.
Kurt assembled and disassembled many bands through
his teen years. Then in 1986 formed Nirvana and made there first album "Bleach."
No one knew who they really were until the made the hit album, "Nevermind."
Nirvana's grunge look made a big impact on the fashion industry, from glamour
chick to grunge chick.
Meanwhile, Kurt met the woman of his dreams and got
married to Courtney Love in 1992. Courtney was the lead singer for an alternative
band called Hole. Courtney and Kurt shared two things; The love to make
music and, the love for heroin. Heroin was a drug Kurt and Courtney took
regularly. Heroin addicts more than one half million people each year. It
is sold on the street corners and is illegal. You can do heroin practically
anywhere, Courtney and Kurt did it mostly in their home, hotel or in dressing
rooms before concerts. Heroin can be taken as a dark brown solid or as a
powder, it can be smoked, eaten, or injected. Heroin is a derivative of
Morphine, but is three times more potent than Meperidine (A.K.A. Demoral)
a pain killer used in medical practice (Opium 6).
Courtney got pregnant soon after Kurt
and she had gotten married. rumors were going around saying that Courtney
was using Heroin while she was pregnant. Courtney denied all charges stating
that she quit as soon as she found out she was pregnant. Kurt didn't stop
even though Frances Bean, Kurt and Courtney's little girl, brought a hope
for Kurt and kept him happy for a while. Kurt's addiction had gotten so
vital that nearing the end of his life he took Heroin every time he went
on stage to do a concert. Kurt said he took heroin to "settle his stomach"
(Jones 5).
Kurt, Courtney, and Frances Bean all moved in to a
house in Seattle that they were renting in 1993. One day, Kurt decided to
write on one of the walls. He wrote; "None of You Will Ever Know My
Intentions"--I guess he really meant it (Mclaughlin et al. 2). An other
clue to link to Kurt's suicide. All the hatred finally pulled one
of Kurt's last strings, three months before his actual death. It was in
Europe, the last band tour. Kurt and his wife were sitting in their hotel
room a day before Nirvana's show. Kurt started complaining about his stomach
pains (he had had the pains for a while) so Kurt decided to settle his stomach
with out Heroin and with a prescription drug, and some Valium. Valium is
an available drug in Europe that is legal. Before Kurt went to bed, he shared
a bottle of wine with his wife. When Courtney awoke she found her husband
lying on the floor not breathing. Courtney called an ambulance and they
rushed Kurt to the emergency room. Doctors stated that Kurt was in a coma
but it wasn't a deep one. Some more rumors were spread across the world
of the media, people were saying Kurt had attempted suicide in Europe. When
Kurt got better he denied all charges (Sanz 1).
Cortney had gotten sick of Kurt's drug problem (like
she had any room to talk) so she decided to confront him with his problem.
She did this by having all there closest friends and family meet him in
there house in Seattle, and tell Kurt he needed to get some help. Nirvana's
manager even threatened him by saying they were going to kick him out of
the band,if Kurt didn't get help or stop his problem, "cold turkey."
The plan seemed to work for a couple of weeks and Kurt checked him self
in to a rehab center. Two weeks latter Kurt checked him self out of the
hospital and vanished in to thin air. Some files stated sowed that Kurt's
mother had filled a missing persons report on April 5, 1994 (McLaughlin
2).
On that same day, his mother filled the missing persons
report, Kurt Donald Cobain, had gotten so fed up with his life. Even more
fed up than the "incident" in the Europe tour. Kurt was sick of
his self, the media, and the people around him. Kurt was so depressed he
wrote a suicide/good bye letter and took a shot gun that was in the house
that him and his family would soon live in. Kurt shot him self by putting
the gun in his mouth and pulling the trigger. No one knew Kurt was in Seattle,
they didn't;t even know he was in America. Than one day an electrician came
to the new house and knocked on the door but no one answered the door. The
electrician peered through the families soon-to-be green room and saw a
mannequin lying on the floor. He looked closer and saw a pool of blood surrounding
the body and called the police right away (Pike 5).
Kurt Donald Cobain died on April 5, 1994--suicide...In
Kurt's suicide note he wrote "I haven't found the excitement of listening
to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many
years now" (Cobain 5). Those words are self explanatory, I guess you
could say. Kurt also said it wasn't right for him to "rip off"
the people who came to watch him preform. He said that acting like he was
having "100%" fun was a big lie. "...since the age of seven,
I've become hateful towards all humans in general." "...its better
to burn out than to fade away" (Cobain 5).
Courtney read the suicide note out loud
and had it recorded to be played in Seattle for a candle light vigil Seattle's
fans would have in honor of him. Courtney's theory of all that happened
was that Kurt, after he disappeared, called Courtney at her hotel on April
5, 1994. Little did he know that Courtney had a "block" put on
her phone for all the media people who kept on badgering her about the whereabouts
of Kurt, but the person working at the front desk messed up and thought
it was a "block" for every one. When Kurt possible could have
called the person on the phone could have said that she didn't want to talk
to him and so Kurt got depressed and killed him self because he couldn't
talk to his wife.
When Courtney had the funeral, she wore the traditional,
all black look. When Courtney saw Kurt before the cremation she cut of a
lock of Kurt's hair and when she went home washed it repeatedly because
Kurt hatted washing his hair. Dave Grohl (drummer of Nirvana) said a couple
of things about Kurt during the funeral. They had a private funeral, two-hundred
of Courtney and Kurt's closest friends and family.
Kurt's suicide had a big impact on
the world. There was a lot of teenagers (between the ages of fifteen to
twenty-nine) who tried or succeeded suicides like there "idol,"
Kurt Cobain. People compared Kurt's death to John Lennon (member of the
band the Beatles) death saying that there were suicides after John's death
also and broadcasters on T.V. informing the world of the shocking news.
Kurt was always compared to Jimmi Hendrix, and John Lennon because of there
drug problem. An other aspect was the way they dealt with there fame, even
though Kurt took "the easy way out."
Most scientists agree that suicide is a complex behavior
that is biological, physical, and social causes. Scientists have also discovered
that people who commit suicide usually had depression. In other countries
suicide is an honor. Along time ago it was a very good thing to "sacrifice"
your self. In Japan there is an other type of suicide called Hara-Kiri.
The Japanese practice the "suicide" by disemboweling. 1,500 deaths
occurred annually a couple of centuries ago over half were voluntary acts.
Just because it's right to commit suicides in other countries doesn't necessarily mean it's right. I think we Americans need to look at the past and see what went wrong. Almost all suicides have been linked to depression. Why not teach our kids to be friends with each other or look at the parents correct our mistakes. Than maybe we won't have to have anymore tragedies such as Kurt Donald Cobain.
Works Cited
Cobain, Kurt. "Nirvana FAQ" via internet.
18 April, 1994.
Jones, Malcolm Jr. et al. "The Fall out of the Burn out" Newsweek
25 April, 1995: 51.
McLaughlin, Lisa, et al. "Nevermind" Time 18 April, 1994: 11.
Opium, Funk and Wagnalls New Encyclopedia: CD-ROM, 1995.
Pike, Jeff. "Kurt Cobain Year of Rest With out Peace" Rocket Magazine
5 April, 1995: 87.
Sanz, Cynthia. "Hardly Nirvana" People Weekly 25 March, 1995:
71.
Voice 1
It's very cold wet and rainy. People just walk
by me as if I don't exist. I'm an outcast.
It feels like I broke my back sitting up against this car.
There's not much to see from where I sit, just garbage in a heap and the
other side of the street . There's a man across the street, who accidentally
stepped into a puddle, I beg him for money , he doesn't know what to do,
and the smell is over powering which I fear might drive him off. But before
he leaves, he gives me some money .
Voice 2
It was really wet, cold, and rainy. As I stepped
off the curb, I accidentally stepped into a puddle. The cold shoots through
my body as I lift my foot out of the water for another step.
I look across the street and see a beggar, sitting up against a car. He
begs me for money, so I give it to him and walk off.
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